Talking to your child about their professional future takes finesse, especially with puberty bringing its own series of challenges. But this is exactly when your child needs your support and understanding. Find out here how best to support your child in this time and how to build trust through communication.
1. Take the time.
Just squeeze the topic of choosing a profession in between doing the shopping and sitting down to dinner? There’s a better way. Discussions carried out under time pressure are rarely productive, and at worst your child might feel as if they are not being taken seriously. You should also avoid situations that are already stressful, such as when your child is preparing for a test. Instead, you and your child should choose a fixed day and time to talk about what professions interest them. Agree to make this conversation a no-phones zone. This will allow you to have a discussion on a level playing field without any interruptions.
2. Avoid comments expressing doubt.
When your child talks about what type of job they want to do, it’s better to avoid phrases like “That’s not right for you” or “You won’t earn any money that way.” Instead, encourage your child to find their own way and ask open-ended questions – even (and especially) if you might initially be critical of an occupation to which they aspire. Your questions will show your child that you are really listening and taking things seriously, and encourage trusting communication between you.
3. Don’t put your child under pressure.
Accept that choosing an occupation is a process where detours are expressly part of the journey. Statements like “You have to make up your mind” or “If you wait any longer, you won’t find anything” not only create stress for both of you, but can also damage the trust between you and your child. Instead, encourage your child to find out more about potential occupations at their own pace and motivate them to use their own initiative in the form of research, conversations, and internships – there are many roads to a dream job.
4. Talk about your own experiences.
Share the experiences that set you on the path to your current occupation – and be open about any doubts you might have had. This way, you signal to your child that you can understand their situation and all of its obstacles, not to mention show that parents aren’t always perfect either.
5. Show genuine interest in your child’s hobbies.
Ask your child what excites them about their hobbies and what skills the hobbies require. This is a more casual way of finding out what your child is good at and where their potential lies without dictating a specific direction and putting pressure on them that way. In fact, this will even make your child more aware of their own abilities. Then, working together, explore what professions match these abilities and interests.
6. Stay curious.
Today’s world of work is changing rapidly: It is more than possible that professions that were thought to have excellent prospects when you were young are no longer relevant now. At the same time, lots of new fields of work are emerging as well. If your child talks about an occupation that you aren’t familiar with, ask about it and show interest. By doing so, you can boost your child’s self-confidence while also learning something new yourself. You can find even more information about current occupational profiles and future-oriented opportunities from your local Employment Agency and in the online job lexicon of the Federal Employment Agency.
7. Respect your differences.
You only want the best for your child. However, try not to push your child in a direction they might not want to go. Even if it’s hard for you, let your child have their own experiences, and be there to support them with advice, not “I told you so.” And if your child does change their chosen path – potentially even right before the finish line – be there to offer them help and support.
8. Make choosing a profession a joint project.
From internships and open-door days to information events and career fairs, there are lots of ways for your child to familiarize themselves with various academic paths and occupations before they make a decision. Offer to help with research and application documents. This way, you keep the lines of communication with your child open and show that they don’t have to make this important decision alone.